


Own Nature

by breathtaken



Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Found Family, Gen, Non-Sexual Intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21962488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathtaken/pseuds/breathtaken
Summary: Liam wasn’t surprised when Muirne settled as a lynx, shortly before his sixteenth birthday; and though he’s sure it was mostly because of what it says about him, he’d also like to believe she considered how much he likes to curl up alongside her and bury his face in her neck.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 69





	Own Nature

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas all, hope you enjoy this self-indulgent fluff. As usual, please don't share it.
> 
> Contains spoilers for Campaign 1.

> _ “That’s what you are. Argue with anything else, but don’t argue with your own nature.” – His Dark Materials _

* * *

# 1.

Liam first meets Sam Riegel on a con panel for an anime that he barely even remembers recording. They’re sat next to each other and start dicking about within seconds of introducing themselves, and by the end of the hour, Liam’s chest hurts from laughing too hard and Muirne is lying between their chairs with Sam’s raccoon curled up beside her, nosing at her snout.

As Liam looks back up he sees that Sam is looking too, and immediately feels the tips of his ears heating; Sam’s grinning, though whether it’s at Liam’s clear embarrassment or simply because he thinks they’re adorable together, it’s too early for Liam to tell.

Then Muirne raises her head, gives Liam a long, slow blink, and deliberately licks the raccoon’s nose.

Liam says, “We should be best friends.”

If it’s possible, Sam grins even wider.

* * *

# 2.

They say every person’s relationship with their dæmon is unique, and Liam’s certainly no expert – he can only speak from experience.

He wasn’t surprised when Muirne settled as a lynx, shortly before his sixteenth birthday; and though he’s sure it was mostly because of what it says about him, he’d also like to believe she considered how much he likes to curl up alongside her and bury his face in her neck.

She’s the one who keeps him grounded when he gets too anxious, or too serious. She chooses people for him: both his best friend and his wife, lying down at their feet in clear invitation while he’s still trying to figure out the best way to say _ would you want to know me more. _She’s the heart on his sleeve, deliberate and unapologetic, and there have been times he’s wished she’d be more restrained but he’s trying hard to let go of that and embrace the person he knows they are.

She doesn’t make it _ easy, _ exactly, but she makes it easier.

* * *

# 3.

Sam becomes his best friend, and stays that way for a full decade. They become ridiculously busy and successful voice actors slash directors – not to mention fathers – and decide to record a podcast together that nobody will listen to, as a not-even-veiled excuse to actually hang out. They’ve already got a couple ideas in the works: Matt Mercer’s been offering to run a Dungeons & Dragons game for Liam for two full years and they’ve _ finally _fixed a date for his birthday, which is not-so-secretly making his little nerd heart sing, and he’s crossing his fingers that despite his reservations, Sam ‘I’m not really a nerd’ Riegel will love it at least half as much as Liam expects to.

They’ve gone to break to attempt to air out Sam’s endlessly-sweaty booth, have an extended bitch about Sam’s current casting agent that they definitely can’t publish on the internet, and drink even more whisky, their legs overlapping and their dæmons lying together in a pile on the floor; and Liam isn’t sure whether to blame the alcohol, the enclosed space or simply his own incompetence when he reaches down for the bottle and gets a handful of fur instead, and realizes a second later that it isn’t Muirne’s.

Beside him, Sam flinches.

Liam immediately snatches his hand away.

“Sorry,” he says immediately, in growing panic as he becomes aware of the magnitude of what he’s just done, and the inadequacy of his response. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sam replies, though he’s wide-eyed and Liam is pretty certain he’s just being polite, and it’s actually _ not. _“It’s pretty tight in here.”

“Still.” Liam insists, because he remembers how it feels when someone touches your dæmon and you’re not expecting it – even someone you _ like _ – like something brushing against the grain of your soul. “I should have looked. I’m really sorry,” he repeats, because he isn’t sure what else to say; and when Muirne nudges her snout against his hand after a few seconds of awkward silence, he can see Sam doesn’t miss it.

He knows what she’d say, if they were alone: it’s just a fuck-up. Sam knows he didn’t mean to, and at least it was _ him _and not someone Liam’s worked with like twice, and it’s embarrassing and he’s going to feel like shit about it for a bit but in time it’ll be forgiven and forgotten.

“Liam. It’s alright.” Sam puts a hand on his arm, immediately grimacing when he finds it sweaty, and Liam can’t help smiling, and rolling his eyes when Sam jokes, “I can’t help my animal magnetism.”

“I don’t think you can take credit for Elivra’s achievements,” Liam replies, and bends over to look for the bottle again, this time a great deal more carefully.

He’s aware of Muirne moving between them, but doesn’t assign any importance to it until a sudden jolt of sensation shoots up his spine – and he sits up so quickly that he cracks his head on the corner of the desk.

It’s a ridiculous scene: they’re sitting almost on top of each other in a boiling hot booth wearing gym shorts – Sam in a _ vest _ – with Liam clutching his head and Muirne up on her hind legs with her front paws on Sam’s lap, nosing at his hand.

For a moment he and Sam just stare at each other, speechless.

_ Is this your way of evening the playing field, _he thinks faintly. 

She ignores him, and headbutts Sam’s hand. 

It’s not like he’s never thought about what this would be like. He’s always been tactile, and while he fully understands why certain social taboos exist, he’s not really interested in having any personal space where Sam is concerned, either physical or emotional.

He still remembers the thrill of the first time Muirne put her head in Amy’s lap, back before she was his wife, and she froze for a moment before stroking cautiously over her fur; how Muirne nosed at his children when they were born, and baptized them with a swipe of her rough tongue, and he felt the utter rightness of it in his body as well as his heart.

He can hide from everyone else, but he can’t hide from Muirne, because she’s a part of him.

Sam is still staring at him, for once entirely at a loss.

“I think she likes you,” Liam says idiotically.

Muirne pushes her face against his hand again; and never looking away from Liam, Sam rotates his wrist and scratches her cautiously under the chin.

Liam slumps against Sam’s shoulder, not caring that they’re both sticky, shaking from the sensation and trying not to do anything horrifically embarrassing like moan as Sam’s other arm wraps around him – and then Muirne starts purring, which is almost as bad.

“Is this okay?” Sam whispers, and he’s not even making a joke, which is what clues Liam in to just how far off the map they are. 

“Yeah. It’s – a lot,” Liam manages, blinking back tears as Sam’s fingers still against Muirne’s muzzle, reaching out and burying one of his own hands in her fur. “But it’s okay.”

Elivra jumps into Sam’s lap then up onto his shoulder, winding around his neck, and Liam can hear her sniffing cautiously at the top of his head.

He asks, “Are _ you _ okay?”

“Yeah.” As Sam holds his hand still Muirne licks his fingers, and Liam dies a little inside. “I’ve never really touched someone else’s dæmon before. Except for Nhung, but Q doesn’t always like me to. Asian upbringing. You know.”

Liam thinks about falling asleep every night with Muirne curled against Amy’s chest and one of her large paws in his hand, and Florentin nestled in the crook of his legs, and decides he really doesn’t.

“She’s the literal tiger mother,” he jokes instead.

Sam grins for a moment, but he’s serious when he says, “But I wanna be as open with my kids as you are with yours.”

Clumsy fingers buried in the scruff of Muirne’s neck, his heart overflowing with warmth; their own dæmons running changeable and unafraid across the floor and over the furniture and all over him, squirming and giggling when he manages to catch them, laughing triumphantly when he misses.

“It’s worth it,” he says as Muirne jumps into Sam’s lap, and starts making biscuits.

* * *

# 4.

Liam’s one-off birthday game becomes a recurring one; two years in, they start streaming. They become a success, and then a sensation. They call it Critical Role.

They become a family.

For Liam at least, Sam and Elivra are at the center; and he was already close friends with Laura, her otter Garnet just as wickedly playful, and Travis, only matched in curious energy by his rat Alethea.

Judging people by their dæmons is easy to do, but it’s unthinkable for someone like Matt, with small white-flecked deer Lieci at his side, to be anything but genuine in his kindness; and Liam thinks he’s an odd match with Marisha and her hawk Thorin for about five minutes until he sees the way they look at each other.

He’s already on friendly terms with Taliesin too, his albino peacock Pan as remarkable for his visuals as his gender, though Liam tries not to pay stereotypes any heed; and like the archetype of her wolf Pickle it takes Ashley the longest to find her feet, but once she does they all know it’s for good.

After Vex dies in the Sunken Tomb, Liam dreams of Muirne rescuing Garnet from a raging river at night, her mouth clamped around the scruff of his neck, her fur dripping with something black and ominous; it’s only when Vax awakens from his vigil outside his twin sister’s bedroom door to find his dæmon has changed from a sparrow to a raven that Liam realizes the magnitude of what he’s set in motion.

When more than eighteen months later, he finally says goodbye to Vax for good, Sam takes him off to a private corner of the set once the cameras have stopped rolling and just holds him for a long time, Muirne laying across Sam’s feet as though she’s his, and everyone lets them be.

When he wakes up the next morning, there’s a new black splotch between Muirne’s shoulder blades that looks almost like a feather.

* * *

# 5.

_ ‘Caleb spent eleven years in an asylum, magically separated from his dæmon,’ _Liam types, and has to put down his laptop for a moment when the idea makes him feel physically sick, Muirne pushing her head into his lap with a whine.

He already knows it won’t be easy, but he feels in his bones that this is a story that needs telling.

* * *

# 6.

They have a post-Kickstarter afterparty the day after their official party, which is really just the seven of them sitting around in Laura and Travis’ living room, sadly minus Ashley, drinking the expensive wine Sam brought and looking at each other with similar expressions of amazed disbelief.

As usual the alcohol leaves Liam loose-limbed and affectionate, with an added helping of giddiness from achieving success beyond their wildest dreams; he’s slumped against Sam with Muirne sprawled out across his lap, belly-up, and when she butts her head against Sam’s hand until he starts to pet her, Liam shivers with pleasure.

Then he realizes too late that everyone else is looking at them. 

He doesn’t think he’s ever even seen the married couples in their group touch each other’s dæmons, so really, it probably would have been more socially acceptable to get his dick out.

“Sorry,” he says, sitting up straighter and attempting to pull Muirne back into his lap, ignoring her low growl of discontentment. “It’s not –”

Then he falters, because _ not what, _exactly?

They’ve seen him and Sam climb all over each other and even kiss on occasion, and at its heart this is no different.

When Sam tries to move his hand away, Muirne nips him gently with her teeth, and puts her paws possessively over his wrist.

“Ow. _ Liam,_” he complains, and Liam shrugs helplessly and says, “I don’t tell her what to do,” which they all know is only technically true.

From the armchair, Taliesin says, “Matt and I went to a party once where we touched other people’s dæmons, and let them touch ours.” He looks around the room, gently gauging their reactions. “It’s really nice to be able to have that intimacy without it being sexual or romantic, unless you want it to be. I think we’re very bad at that, culturally.”

Matt, seated at Marisha’s feet, doesn’t say anything, but Lieci gets up from where she’s sprawled across his legs and lopes over to Taliesin; Matt lets out a happy little sigh when Taliesin scoops her confidently up onto his lap, and Thorin swoops down from the bookcase and lands on Matt’s shoulder as Marisha wraps her arms around him and kisses the crown of his head.

After that, it’s even better than Liam could have imagined.

Garnet drapes himself around Sam’s neck, Sam and Liam petting his soft fur and Laura wriggling in pleasure; Travis holds his breath and whispers, “Jesus,” as Taliesin runs Alethea through his hands, and Pan and Thorin entwine their necks on Marisha’s lap like a courting pair; Liam forgets himself for a while as Muirne walks between everyone in turn and begs for pets, the echoes of their touch skittering like lightning down his spine, only coming back to himself enough to hold out a tentative hand to Elivra and have her accept his touch for the very first time, Sam letting out an unsteady breath beside him and resting his head against Liam’s.

When Muirne eventually sprawls out across his and Sam’s laps and starts to purr like an engine, Liam can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed.

“Love you,” he murmurs, watching both their hands stroking through Muirne’s fur as Elivra presses herself against her side and feeling it glowing deep and warm within him, looking around the room at these people he chose, his friends, his _ family, _including them all in his words.

Muirne turns her head, and licks his fingers.

**Works inspired by this one:**

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